Step 1: Asking Permission (The Bride Price)

This is one of those steps that is more or less expected in the U.S. but is obligatory here: Asking the bride’s parents for permission before asking her.

In Cambodia, this would traditionally have entailed Anan and his mother sitting down with my mother and father to negotiate a bride price — the amount of money a groom-to-be pays the parents of the bride for the right to marry their daughter.

By the time Anan got around to calling my mother earlier this month, he had already made several inquiries with me as to how much she would be expecting to make off this deal. My response to him: “Anan, in the U.S., we don’t buy women … unless they’re prostitutes. But seriously: Please don’t offer to pay my mom. She’ll think you’re crazy.”

And so, sometime during the same day that he actually popped the question, Anan called my mother to ask her permission, which she graciously granted.

There was no discussion of bride prices, as far as I understand. But on a side note, my mom could be missing out, as the going price for a college-educated bride with a good income in Phnom Penh is about $10,000.